Words - and why I voted for Obama

I wrote this column in The Times Herald Record shortly after Barack Obama's speech on racism during his campaign for the presidency:

We take words for granted. And even when we notice what they can and should be — conveyors of truth, the very stuff of hope and promise and beauty — we're only too happy to forget their importance in our workaday lives, and never more so than during a presidential campaign.
Talk is cheap, we say. Sticks and stones, we chant. You gotta walk it like you talk it. And so on.
In one of his most famous works, the poet Philip Larkin, who, like all poets, knew the importance of words, wrote that "Days are where we live."
With all due respect, if he'd grant me his poetic license for a moment, I'd amend that line to say that words are where we live, now more than ever before. And where we live these days is a none-too-pretty place.
The air we breathe is heavy with a smog of words — ill-considered, hateful, angry, resentful — that corrode the possibility of civil discourse, of understanding one another. I can't think of a better example of the Biblical Tower of Babel than what happens to the country during a presidential campaign.
So, when words are put to a different, conciliatory purpose — in the heat of a campaign, no less — when someone makes a different sound, it behooves a body to listen.
Which is what I did last Tuesday when Democratic presidential contender Barack Obama gave a speech he didn't have to give about a subject most of us would rather not look at in any serious way.
Ostensibly, Obama's speech was an effort to rescue his campaign from the incendiary verbal clutches of his outspoken — some would say racist — pastor, one Jeremiah Wright. The speech, which Obama wrote himself, could have been so much less than it was.
I won't detail the traps that lay in wait for him by undertaking this speech; soon enough, the ugly particulars that prompted it will be forgotten. But I'm convinced the speech itself won't suffer the same fate. Something different was said by a presidential candidate last week, and attention needs to be paid.
This was a speech that tried to use words to heal instead of harm, to explain instead of excuse, to praise and not to blame. Obama's words drew a portrait of a racially polarized America that anybody could recognize. His words were grounded in experience, not generalities. He talked about himself, but not in heroic terms. He spoke about the way people see things — often ugly things — when they sit around the kitchen table or down at the corner barber shop.
I have no idea if Obama's words will win a single vote, no idea if people will accept his explanation of his relationship to Wright, and I don't care. I'll leave that sort of evaluation to the people whose job it is to autopsy the words of politicians.
Such autopsies are easy, since so many of the words favored by politicians are the rootless creation of the strategy session, the focus group, the pollster's questionnaire.
But even the most skeptical post-speech analysts I saw or read appeared to be stunned at what they'd heard last week. They'd heard words that were alive, words that painted pictures of ideas that told a larger story than they'd expected to hear. Words that aimed to tell the truth, and frequently hit their target.
Does this mean Barack Obama should be our next president? Ask a political coroner. All I can tell you is how I felt that day, how the air felt fresh and clean and new again.

Craigslist want ad: Executive assistant to Evil Genius

This ad went out on Craigslist's "Platonic" helps wanteds. It also received some interesting replies, which I'll document soon. But first, the ad copy:

Intelligence not required – I’ll do the thinking, you’ll do the heavy lifting. Responsibilities include grunting in happy agreement as I loquaciously describe my plans to conquer the world. Must be ready to stand in awe of the fathomless depths of my intelligence. You’ll be called on to execute (in every sense of the word) my brilliantly conceived plans for world domination. I require only unquestioning loyalty, an encompassing knowledge of and talent for martial arts and a complete willingness to use those skills in the deadly pursuit of my fiendishly clever plots, world-domination-wise. Must be tolerant of my extravagant reliance on adverbs and run-on sentences. Knowledge of esoteric weaponry (derbies that kill, exploding waffle irons, poisonous canaries) a must. You’ll be expected to smile enigmatically while staring at my various adversaries as you prepare to kill them. Equal opportunity employer

Craigslist: Sidekick wanted

The following ad has been posted and, after a very interesting run, red-flagged. I'll be updating the story asap.

Wanted: Sidekick

Grizzled, single gentleman preferred. Must be able to fry eggs and boil coffee over an open fire while spluttering incomprehensibly. Age not an issue. Personal hygiene not an issue. Front teeth optional. Gun license required -- must be proficient at shooting the hats off suspicious strangers. Personal experience at calming a cattle herd on the verge of stampede a definite plus. Must be willing at all times to marvel at my physical dexterity, with little or no expectation of acknowledgment. gratitude or a decent salary. When not cooking, spluttering or conking suspected evildoers on the head with a skillet (provided) , must be prepared to laugh and my laconic, seemingly self-deprecatory remarks. Lifetime position for the right candidate. Horse and chuck wagon provided. Some mule-skinning may be required

Coming Soon to a Real American Town Near You!

“Four Thousand BC!” – (Historical romance) The last surviving members of the Cha clan – beautiful cave woman Hot (Sarah Palin) and her studly mate Bet (Todd Palin) discover fire and all it can mean to a good filet of Tyranosaurus. But trouble arrives when they cross cudgels with the notorious Won clan, whose leader That stands for everything anti-Neanderthal. Also starring Mike, The Wonder Moose, as “Jake.” Rated PG, for too many big words.

“Schenectady, New York, New York” – (Fantasy) Joe the Songwriter (Sam Wurzelbacher) ankles The Big Apple and heads north to seek the All-American pleasures of life in a failing Rust Belt city. Depressed over his inability to find a word that rhymes with “Schenectady,” Joe buys the entire city and its surrounding suburbs on E-Bay. He and his theatrical troupe (“The Regular Joes”) then create an alternate universe in which plumbers and their friends rule the world.

“Splurge!” (Comedy) Perky Tina Fey, (hard-working Sarah Palin) pines for her Prince Charming and the polyester-free wardrobe she knows will attract him. So when her Fairy Godfather (Rudy Giuliani) offers her a $150,000 gift certificate at her favorite consignment store, she can’t resist. But first she must escape the clutches of the evil Cruella de Handler (Nicolle Wallace) who launches a whispering campaign claiming the princess is really a pumpkin. Co-starring the Republican National Committee.

“The Big Bailout of 2008” (Fantasy) Steve “Sergeant” Schmidt, Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher and Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove star as members of the secret Anti-Socialist League, super heroes who team up to stem the no-longer-creeping Red Tide of socialism as it threatens to swamp the shores of capitalist America.. These three tough hombres don’t always see eye to eye, but don’t get on their fightin’ sides, not when there’s 700 billion dollars – and all those free toasters -- at stake! Also starring Chuck Norris in a dual role as Karl Marx and Henry Paulson.

“Sisterhood is Powerful” (Documentary) Down-to-earth Everywoman Sarah Palin, an ex- beauty- pageant-queen-turned-small-town-mayor-turned- Governor-of-Alaska-and-mother-of-five must do battle with a wicked warlock (Walter Monegan) hell-bent on bewitching her, her sister, her sister-in-law, her sister’s sister-in-laws and most of the rest of the hockey moms living above the 49th parallel. Also starring Vladimir Putin as Sarah’s nosy neighbor, Charlie.

“No Country Club for Old Men” (Political thriller) Based on a true story. A crusty, absent-minded sea captain (John McCain) sets out for the Bering Straits and a date with destiny. But his crew, unable to understand their dread captain’s obscene outbursts, turn at the last minute to his spunky first mate, (Sarah Palin) who energizes them all by calling down the ship’s terrible swift boats. But the enterprise runs aground in stormy November waters. All appears lost until the first mate (don’t call her Ishmael) hitches a ride on the back of a passing polar bear and returns home, where she is recognized by a band of elvish toymakers as Queen Aksala Palindrome, rightful sovereign of the newly independent continent of Alaska.